Trigger Points--Finally!

     I finally got around 6-10 trigger point injections. I got poked many times so it's sore but the actually chronic pain is around 90% less.

     I still have post-withdrawal ahedonia so it's hard to wrap my head around the world that is now open to me. Yeah, I'm scared. Like when you were little and were sick from school for a week or so and you had nerves in your stomach from being gone for that long.

     I'll be 19 on 1-25-2014. I'm still in high school, I am not ashamed but being frozen in life takes a toll. The cost of the years of untreated pain has yet to be known but I have "Stars" by t.A.T.u playing so I have hope.

"Ahedonia" TM*

I don't care

I really don't

I bet on my own atrophy

All with apathy

Trapped by will

No walls

My muscles won't respond to my mind

My mind won't respond to joy

What is life beyond this?

Is there life beyond this?

I don't care 

"Hopeless is a Valley" TM*

I am tired

I am sore

I am stuck

Over here

I see the light

Over the horizon

No pass

Nor hope

Shows it's self

For any trip

Over that mountain

I want to be scared

I want to be manic

I want to love

I want to be happy

I want to have joy

But not from here

I want to have sex

I want to have fun

I want to taste some hung-

I want to have purpose

My pain is an agonist to my hopelessness

Where's my antagonist?

Where's my inverse agonist?

Where is time?

Now Mama, don't you worry

I am not afraid

And I will always be standing towards the Light.