Ferrum™ Pt.6

It was a cold, quiet, and cloudless night. It was Soren's part of the night to stay up and keep watch.

Petr: "Soren, go to sleep. I watch now."

Soren: "No, you need to sleep. We have to grab any sleep we can."

Petr: "I try not sleep."

Soren: "Bad dreams?"

Petr: "...... Happy dream. Wake up, feel dream is real for moment, then you know, dream is dream. Open eyes, real life, very sad... Very sad. You want dream forever." He runs his finger tips over a vertical scar on his inner forearm.

Soren: "I dream too. Dream of.... Mistakes." He shrugs.

Petr: "Mistakes in every life, Soren."

Soren: "Some mistakes are just too big. I was, I am, a bad person." He stares off in the dark void as he slowly shakes his head.

Petr: "Bad man, no say he is bad. You say you bad, you are good then, yes?"

Soren: "I am no good man..."

Petr: "I know bad. I see very bad men that night... In Russia... Eyes... Eyes of bad men, nothing. No, no eyes. You eyes, pain and sad. Not same."

They both are silent for a moment, enrolled in their own respected thought.

Soren: "You are helping me, I'm bitching and you are helping me... I have no right and I never offered my help to you." He directs his eyes from the night, to Petr, then to the scars running up and down Petr's forearm. Petr retracts his arms to hide the scars in shame. Soren gently touches Petr's left arm, slowly pulls it back out, and sets a hand over part of the scar.

Soren: "Don't let them hold that over you. Be proud. I've seen you proud, don't keep that hided."

Petr's eyes seem to dart around. He quickly jerks his arm back.

Petr: "I awake. I watch. You sleep... Now..."

Soren: "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I- I..." He exhales and avoids all eye contact as he proceeds to lie down. His stomach turns painfully at the thought of how callous he thinks he just was.

For Petr, it wasn't the touch or the physical contact that provoked his sudden change in emotion, it was the conflicting feelings circling down his spine. The overflow of emotion manifests itself as full tears streaming down his face. He cries, silently.

The morning sun crested over the rolling hills. Anita was deep in deep in meditation, cleaning her TAR-21. Soren glanced at Petr, trying to find some way to make up for his seemingly callous insult several hours ago. Petr had a handful of polaroids that Soren hadn't seen before. Soren stole a look. He saw one of the pictures, it had two people, at the beach.

A larger, smiling, burly, mediterranean man had his arms over the shoulders of a smaller, younger, blonde young man. Soren barely recognize the younger one, was Petr. Petr had a smile that Soren had not seen before. The older man draped on Petr. He was mid forties, hairy, muscular, and had an aura that was so warm. So warm that it was translated through the picture. He seemed to be balding, but the hair he lacked on his closed shaved head, was supplemented by gleaning chest hair. Petr had the same shaggy blonder hair he had now. Petr had an innocent smile, a innocent that had long left him.

Petr noticed Soren looking. He flipped the picture over to display something written in Russian.

Petr: "It says, "Feodore, hear my voice, see my face, I wait forever as you come to me. Szeretlek(I love you).... -Arpad."

Arpad was the quintessential Hungarian. A large head with a pronounced nose. A dark layer of hair lined his muscular frame. The two contrasted each other, with Petr being a young adult, a swimmer's body, smooth. Arpad was the warm, loving, father type.

Petr: "We look happy, yes?"

Soren: "Yes."

Petr repositions himself next to Soren in order to share the pictures with him.

The next photo was of Petr and Arpad in a weight room. Petr was giving a double handed thumbs up with Arpad reaching under his arms, also giving a double thumbs up. The third was of Petr and Arpad lying on the grass. Petr was reclined into Arpad, with one had under Arpad's chin and the other behind his head. They were sharing a kiss, a kiss with passion that knew no boundaries. Petr flips over this photo to read what's written.

Petr: "Feodore, my love for you is like universe, endless and always expanding-" He struggles to read the last line through his emotions. "You never be alone again, Az en draga kisfiam (My precious little boy)... -Arpad"

Petr: "Lzhets (Liar)." He says it in a quiet, sad tone and not in an insulting tone.

Petr thinks for a moment.

Petr: "Soren, I lie. I no good to lie to man that is my friend. My dreams are dark. Only sometime happy. I was young, stupid 19 year old. I felt like sex, excited, I kissed... I kissed... Dream over and over of me in cell, sitting on cold ground. Arpad walk around me, face so bloody. He says, "You kill me, your fault I die, like you pull trigger of gun. You whore, you no stop with sex. No kiss, no die."

Soren: "You must know that's not true?"

Petr: "No kiss..... No die...."

They make there way to the fourth picture. It is another picture of a passionate kiss between Petr and Arpad. Petr read the text on the back.

Petr: "Feodore, I always remember this day. Never see such romance before. How you only 19? So young but most romantic I know. You have be one of oldest souls. Never stop you.... random moments of affection." Petr looks at Soren as if he'd just seen a ghost.

Soren: "That was no coincidence."