Touchy Subject -- LSD & Chronic Opioid Resistant Pain.

     Okay, I have to say that I do NOT advocate what I am about to explain.

     Pain is a bitch that holds your entire life on a leash. That pain bitch takes you where ever. For so many, regaining that control just doesn't happen, even with drugs like fentanyl and ketamine don't help. So I wanted to share the effects of LSD on myofascial pain syndrome.

     I can only speak for myself. It was in combo with an SNRI so the effects were most likely reduced. 60 mins. to kick in. Effects lasted 8 hours. A very smooth euphoria. Some what like oxycodone but so much calmer and less intense. Pain was much less for around 5 days after the dose.

     I am just be matter of fact. I do NOT endorse illegal drug use. It is very risky and if you are going to do it, go to a state, city state, or country that allows it.


*Update: After having about 2 hits of pure LSD one recent night, I didn't feel the benefits as much. So I'm guessing it is dose dependent. Also, if used for pain, it is best to take it in the morning to keep a normal sleep schedule.*

Pseudocida homosapiensi™ *Fiction, Test Run*

     Species classification has yield no clues to P. homosapiensi origin. DNA shows several instances of genes that are around at least ~80% to related genes in: Catenaria anguillulae, Wolbachia, Trypanosoma, Treponema pallidum, Toxoplasma gondii, Bdelloidea, Spiroplasma, Temperate Bacteriophage, JC Virus, Borrelia, Acanthocephala, Naegleria fowleri.

     There is a high chance that this organism was man made. Exact reasons relating to how the species can produce such a wide range of signs are lacking. We don't know how it works. Do you know how it works? We don't even think God himself knows how it works!

Symptoms of infection:
 Limbic Encephalitis 
 Vasoconstriction
 Memory Problems
 Fever
 Mydriasis
 Acquired Torticollis
 Nausea
 "Encephalitis lethargica"
 Hypotension
 Headache
 Loss of Impulse Control
 Necrosis due to restricted blood flow
 Priapism (paradoxical due to hypotension)
 Xenomas, mainly around the CNS
 Catatonia (with Hypomanic to Manic features)
 Seizures
 Akathisia
 Blurred vision
 Depersonalization
 Derealisation
 Hypothermia
 Convulsions
 Stiffness
 OCD
 Hypersexuality
 Euphoria
 Newly formed Paraphillias
 Parkinsonism
 Neural Inclusions
 Delirium
 Hallucinations
 Polyphagia
 Hyperosmia
 Suicidal and Homicidal ideation
 Urges to Shout, Throw, Break things, and Harm others
 Cravings for Opioids
 Meningoencephalitis
 Hypoalgesia progressing to complete endogenous induced Analgesia
 Emotional Lability
 Ataxia
 Transient Autophagia
 Torpor
 Acquired Antisocial Behaviors
 Erotomania
 Loss of Morals
 Oneirophrenia
 Pica
 Parasomnia
 Ego Death
 Nystagmus
 Hypoesthesia progressing to Anaphia
 Cyanosis
 Desquamation
 Cytokine Storm
 Anti-NMDA Receptor Encephalitis
 Witzelsucht

Just Wanted to Rub Out a Quick Idea!

     Oh shirtless Putin the Hunter (and fisher, and pilot, and dictator, and horseback rider, and savior of the Siberian Tiger), you can suck my fuckin' dick and like it! Ooh I hate your ass.

     If he ever needs a "son" on a hunting trip, I'm right here you nenavistnym svoloch'.

Trigger Points--Finally!

     I finally got around 6-10 trigger point injections. I got poked many times so it's sore but the actually chronic pain is around 90% less.

     I still have post-withdrawal ahedonia so it's hard to wrap my head around the world that is now open to me. Yeah, I'm scared. Like when you were little and were sick from school for a week or so and you had nerves in your stomach from being gone for that long.

     I'll be 19 on 1-25-2014. I'm still in high school, I am not ashamed but being frozen in life takes a toll. The cost of the years of untreated pain has yet to be known but I have "Stars" by t.A.T.u playing so I have hope.

"Ahedonia" TM*

I don't care

I really don't

I bet on my own atrophy

All with apathy

Trapped by will

No walls

My muscles won't respond to my mind

My mind won't respond to joy

What is life beyond this?

Is there life beyond this?

I don't care 

"Hopeless is a Valley" TM*

I am tired

I am sore

I am stuck

Over here

I see the light

Over the horizon

No pass

Nor hope

Shows it's self

For any trip

Over that mountain

I want to be scared

I want to be manic

I want to love

I want to be happy

I want to have joy

But not from here

I want to have sex

I want to have fun

I want to taste some hung-

I want to have purpose

My pain is an agonist to my hopelessness

Where's my antagonist?

Where's my inverse agonist?

Where is time?

Now Mama, don't you worry

I am not afraid

And I will always be standing towards the Light.

Writing Therapy/Story Expression Therapy... Is that TM? If not... TM!

     In school we learn writing stories is a good way to get smart. That is true but it serves a much larger benefit. Writing fictional stories helps heal the mind and soul as well. It's along the same lines as art therapy which is well known.

     I can only use myself as an example. With my pain and medicine, it can be hard to find the will to leave the house, let alone spend time with friends or find a partner. When I write my horror/romance stories, it puts me into a state where I can express emotions, feelings, and even actions is a healthy and productive way.

     A person never out grows the need for comfort. When you're young, you get the need taken care of by parents/guardians. But when your older, you start to need that comfort that only a true lover can provide. Like I write version of myself with a perfect boyfriend. Being in duress daily, I get a sense of comfort when I write about fictional me being with fictional partner. Now does it make any sense?

     It may make no sense but the overall idea: Pain creates so many horrible emotions and feelings. They can be dangerous too. Let those emotions and feelings flow out of you through writing. For emotions and feelings that are stuck, write of a scene that you can imagine and release those emotions and feelings that way.

     This may very well sound kind of crazy but when you're in the pain induce duress, it helps and just try.